adios.

i lost a friend this week.

someone i loved, admired, and adored because they wanted to "leave me to my confusing life". i must admit that i was taken aback by this but...

life goes on.

i am learning that when people choose to walk away, it is always for a reason. good or bad & whether you like it or dislike it doesnt really matter. there is a reason...and thats what matters. i no longer try to change people's minds or even get them to see my POV. i have decided that once a person's mind is made up...to just let them be.

i know that some ppl see this as me not caring about the person, but...i just see it as me caring more about me.

***************
inner beauty

there is a non-sensical conclusion to this situation
a slight
confusing ending
to this sudden deprivation
of emotion
when your needs
are over shadowed by my wants
and kindness is no longer outweighted by perfection

but im not perfect
i am not sculpted from a flawless
infallible being
i am sinful
full of faults
and in that sense
imperfectly assembled to be a beacon
for whomever chooses to wait for my inner light
to come forth and shine intelligently

because now it blinds those
unworthy of me
so bright
and effervescent
so honest
and compassionate
so foolish.

i am not perfect
because my heart is too kind
but i fear for my solitude
because hearts are not as smart or strong as minds.