today.

i just did something i shouldnt have done. which...of course, i now regret. it just never ceases to amaze me how i can think i've dealt with something & have really gotten over it, but the slightest notion can make me face the reality that i havent.

its cause im a hypocrite i guess.

perhaps, it really is time for me to stop dishing things that i just cant take. but as humans, arent we selfish souls? dont we want for the betterment of ourselves most times? dont we aim to please our own wants & needs over others--without thought most times.

i do.

its not good, but its true.

and for the life of me, i just cant seem to grasp the concept that everything that feels good, just aint good. everything that looks, smells, & tastes like love...aint love. cuz love is about what you feel which is why to me...its amazing. that the one ex i have known for the longest...is the one i am no longer cool with. he is the one who has done me the worst, but yet & still the one i hate to see with anyone else.

why is this?

i thought i fell out of love a long time ago.

********

i sensed that things had come to a close
long before we had shut the door

but perhaps we were afraid of the words
and didnt realize our actions said more

maybe it was hard to say
but somehow not hard to do

to leave without saying goodbye
when you already know its thru.