In My Own Little Corner...

its on the tip of my tongue

and the sound of your voice
the look of your texts
the feeling i get when i see you
evokes it
im trying to hide it
and fight it
but internally im wondering how much longer i can deny it
its how i feel
its hard to say but not so hard to describe
its easy to feel, yet hard to subside
i cant get rid of it
and as time elapses
my courage relapses
and i am unable to speak what needs to be said
my heart
my being
the essence of me
that was once surrounded by positivity
is dead.

because you are toxic
you breathe my air
and release it back as poison
killing me with every word you say
every action you take
and every heinous display
of your ill being
it is only fitting that my
train of thought has been wrecked because of you
and what used to be dreams of tranquility
are now nightmares of life without serenity
its hard to bare

its on the tip on my tongue

because you learn no lessons
yet are quick to judge
you have no morals
yet are eager to maintain a grudge
your values make no sense
your time is ill spent
all the while
im in denial
thinking...
you're not the cause of it
but you are
and thus far i have played your game
never casting towards you the blame
of things gone wrong
but now

its on the tip of my tongue

and now it exhales through the tips of my hands
its soothes because now it is i chooses to reprimand YOU
I LOATHE YOU
i loathe your vile, foul, nature
and your futile behaviors
i loathe your denial of your sins
as though you are an infallible creation
my intense hostility
has boiled, bubbled, and brewed itself to a potent consitency within me
I HATE YOU
i exclaim these truths with the passion of hot summer nights
with the fury of a hungry lion's plight
i am ravenous towards this truthfulness
oh how my disdain for you
has remain secluded for so long
like a caged bird alone in a forest
singing a lone song of redemption
and with these words
i am redeemed
i am esteemed
like a monarch looking out on his trusted regime
i have been vindicated
and like a thief in the night
i have stolen back my joy
i have robbed you of my light
because my positive aura
you had absorbed
the goal is finished
i am tired and worn
but my spirit is no longer diminised

i have won
because through the tips of my hands
i have released the words
on the tip of my tongue.