retired.

it has been done.

idk why,
but performing is no longer something i enjoy.

instead of something that
calmed and soothed me
and felt like leasure,
it became as mundane as a 9-5 in a sock factory.

*sigh*

i used to love my art.

i'd sit for minutes, hours, DAYS perfeciting. harnessing each word and phrase like an infant that needed to be nurtured until the entire piece was complete. until it had sprouted and grown into yet another one of my masterpieces. poetry used to be:

MY THING.

but that all changed.

cause now, to me, poetry is a

FAD.

and not that i hate fads. i normally dont like things just because they are fads, but to me, when something becomes a fad. when it becomes the "cool thing" to do, the quality is downsized because the quality is in abundance, and welll...

i dnt want to be a part of anything like that. i have had some great opportunities, met some awesome people, performed at some cool venues, made some NIIIIICE money, but at the end of the day, i was still disatisfied.

i hate watching talentless people. and yeah, saying this may seem like im on some type of high-horse, but i just dont condone giving people opportunites that they dont deserve! not everyone can write, and just because some can write does not mean they can recite, and perhaps, even if a person can recite, they can't

SPIT.

everything is not for everybody. so idk. i figure. this...is no longer for me. i aint feeling it. and i aint digging this "poetry scene". i hate scenes. im so low key. i dnt go to venues cuz the hottest dj or photographer is gonna be there. i go there for the artistry. i go there to view the craft of the hard-working artists who wrote something to touch someone.

i used to feel like a lot of the poets wrote things that touched me because they came from a relatable place when they write them, but now its all about...

nothing.

and it sucks. because i am more than nothing. i am all of something, and i kinda think its something that people are beginning to mock because i swear, on more than one occassion, i have seen some bitches jocking my poetry swag. and although i claim to be swag-less, i do feel like everyone has their own poetry swag. no matter how minimalistic.

ppl do shit they never would have done had they not seen ME DO IT.
ppl writing shit they never would have writter had they not seen ME WRITE IT.
ppl spitting in ways they never would have spit had they not seem ME SPIT IT.

so wtf is up with that.

the last promotor i worked for told me not to stress this cause "there's nothing new under the sun", and thats cool and all...cause i dont wanna bask under the son's glory.

i'd rather hide my life...

behind the moon.