feel.

idk what kind of battle i am fighting with my art. its so odd. im still writing tho. im glad i started again because i have a great piece in the works. first time im actually writing something like this, but, its a first time for everything. as i write this, i have a feeling that its going to touch someone and that is what i love about the poetry. its not about how the words sound. how the voice inflects. how the hands move. how the tongue lashes.

for me, its all about how the words feel. thats what i love. when i hear a love poem and FEEL the sensation. its all about the way the words touch a person. thats what a lot of artists are lacking. almost anything you say can hit a person, but its what touches them, that makes the difference. i want someone to hear what i have to say and then say "i feel that" and mean it. if i cry as i write, i want my audience to cry as they listen. if anger is what evokes me, then that is what i want them to emit upon reading. its all about the feeling behind the words. its all about the feeling.

and true. u can SAY things with feeling. you can the best dictionary that webster has concocted and the best thesaurus that money can buy. u can be as eloquent with your writing as possible but what is eloquence without PASSION? what good is a star quarterback if his doesnt really want to play the game? why boast about having a pretty horse if you only groom her to show her off? am i rambling? i hope im making sense. because all im trying to say is that...writing should come from the heart. not the mind. not the head. not the brain. poetry shouldnt be thought about. it should be felt.


its just hard. cause i really thought this was going to be easy, but as difficult as this is for me, i am grateful. i am thankful. and i am willing, ready, and able to deal with this. especially with all the new things i have learned about the people i used to work with/for. it is utterly AMAZING really. but i dont wanna go there. im just going to follow my heart like i have been doing. it always seems to lead me to the right place. im excited to be actively writing again tho.

today i heard a man sing. his voice wasnt great, but his simple rendition of "amazing grace" brought tears to my eyes.

how odd.

how one simple thing,one slight situation, one moment in time can conjure up feelings that i once thought were null & void. i thought i hated poetry and i figured that i hated performing, but thats not it at all.

(i honestly, dont know what it is, but its not hate.)

he made me miss performing. he made me miss giving my all. and most of all,he made me crave the stage.